Chapter 15 “Memories”

The candles ob the table were lit. A cheerful song with characteristic tingles played in the background. Holly and deep red ribbons decorated the banister, and a huge Christmas tree dominated the living room. Lois was sitting in front of the hearth, absorbing the warmth from the raging fire. Jason was in his bedroom, playing with the stack of puzzles Santa had given him that morning.

At first sight, it looked like a Christmas like all others. But after closer inspection, you could see that something important was definitely missing. The Christmas spirit.

Christmas dinner had been a quiet affair. The turkey was eaten in complete silence, with only an occasional request to pass the cranberry sauce.

Lois buried her head in her hands. She had done it. She had gone and ruined Christmas with her depressed mood. Great.

Lois eyes watered quickly, like so often these days, and she blinked desperately. She was not going to cry on Christmas. Christmas was for happy affairs. Christmas had always been a happy affair.

A sudden image of last year’s Christmas popped up and the hot tears Lois had been fighting all day fell. She and Richard had been making out on the rug after putting Jason to bed. The very same rug that now touched the tips of her toes. Lois pulled her legs closer, as if it’s fluffy softness was contaminated.

Richard! Why did you have to go there? You knew those buildings posed a threat. We had been discussing it that very morning. You stupid, stubborn, reckless prat!

Lois pounded on the floor in a sudden flare of anger.

You just had to go there, even though you knew it was dangerous. And now that you’ve gotten yourself killed, I’m left to deal with all this mess you left behind!

In the background, the cheerful music tingled away, posing a stark contrast to Lois’ mood.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la…

Lois’ anger dissolved and instead she felt even more miserable. Why did she blame Richard for it? It wasn’t Richards fault. Lois figured she would have done exactly the same. She and Richard were very much alike when it came down to a story. That’s what she had liked in him in the first place.

She remembered the first time she had met Richard. Perry had taken him to office to introduce him, but Lois hadn’t been paying attention. She had just received a call from a person who had claimed to know where Superman had gone, and she had been so engrossed that she had whipped around when somebody tapped her on the shoulder, spilling her very hot coffee over that someone’s suit. That someone had been Richard.

She had apologised profusely, wiping at the dirty great blotch on Richards chest in a very Clark-like fashion, asking him to name something she could do to make it up to him. He had asked her out, and Lois had been on the point of rejecting him when she caught the smile on his face. Richard had a very nice smile. She had a weak spot for men with a nice smile. She had agreed, and things had gone very fast from there.

Lois started to sob as more memories of her and Richard came flooding in. Their first kiss... The day Richard took her and Jason to the park… The first time they had made love… Another happy Christmas… Richard crying with her as she held Jason for the very first time… Looking for Easter eggs in the back yard… His proposal…

Lois was now sobbing so hard she didn’t hear Jason enter the room. In fact, she only realised his presence when he called out for her.

“M – Mommy?”

Lois lifted her blotched face to Jason, who seemed unsure of how to handle this new situation.

“Mommy, why are you crying? Didn’t you like your gifts?”

Lois shook her head.

“No, I liked my gifts very much. I’m just very sad for Daddy.”

“Oh,” Jason’s eyes flowed down to follow Lois’ hand as she wiped a tear away. “He’s really not coming back.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

“No, he isn’t.”

“I asked Santa, at the mall. Did you ask Santa?”

Jason threw his short arms around his mother’s neck as another sob came up, and Lois enveloped her precious son in a tight bear hug, knowing it had to be a little uncomfortable for him, but desperate for the physical contact.

“Every single day.”