Chapter 21 “Falling”

The SUV came to a halt, and Lois unclasped her seatbelt, hastily stepping out of the car. The strong wind immediately whipped around her face, making her hair dance.

Running across the street, Lois looked up to the tall building. Clark’s apartment was at the top, she knew. Squinting to shield her eyes from the wind, she could see his window. She just hoped he was still at home.

She wrenched open the door and hurried into the building – her hair died down immediately - , making her way over to the elevator.

“Come on.” She pushed the button a couple of times. “Hurry up.”

Within ten seconds she lost what little patience she had and rushed to the stairs. She heard the ding of the elevator right when she arrived on the second floor. She briefly reconsidered going with the elevator. Taking the stairs would make her all sweaty, frazzled and out of breath – there were quite a number stairs to go yet.

Then she wondered why looking sweaty bothered her. It was not like Clark was going to care. So why did she care how she looked around him?

Her feet didn’t slow down as her brain pondered this question, taking step after step, and Lois finally emerged at the seventh floor, panting heavily.

She just turned around when the door flew open. Lois sighed relieved.

“Thank God, I thou –”

Lois froze and her breath hitched in her throat.

Clark stood in front of her. Doorknob still in hand. He was looking at her with his usual grin, the stupid glasses, but without his ugly suit…

Lois’ eyes traveled down. The only thing that covered him was a frayed dirty-white towel around his middle. His chest was exposed, and Lois could see every single muscle.

“Hi, sorry it took so long. I was just in the shower.”

A couple of drops ran down his body, only to be absorbed by the towel. Lois licked her lips. “So I see…”

“You’re here for your suitcase?” His voice seemed to come from afar.

“Suitcase?” Lois mumbled distractedly. She didn’t have the foggiest idea what she was doing up here anymore. “Wha - I’m .. “ She blinked “The suitcase, yeah, I’m here for my suitcase.”

Clark shot her a strange look.

“Lois, is something wrong?”

“N – No, nothing’s wrong.” Something is very right…

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah.”

“OK,” Clark shot her a smile and moved into the apartment, leaving Lois clinging at the doorpost.

His back’s muscly too… Lois’ eyes traveled down to the towel … and his butt… Lois felt her face flush rapidly when Clark bent over to pick the suitcase up. She tried very much to look away, but her eyes were glued to the spot where the soft white material was stretched tightly, showing clearly what was underneath…

“I figured you’d come back for it, but I had expected you sooner.”

He walked back and presented the suitcase to her, and it took Lois a moment to realize that she was supposed to accept it.

“Uh, I was busy…”

“Ah.”

It was silent for a moment, and Lois drank in more of Clark’s physique. From the towel to his abs – My God, his abs! – to his broad chest, to his kind face with big blue eyes staring at her in concern.

“Lois, you absolutely sure there’s nothing wrong? You’re acting very odd. You know you can talk to me when –”

“No, no, no, I’m fine…”

Suddenly the dense fog in Lois’ mind cleared a little, and she realized how pathetic she must look, standing in the doorway, arms limp by her side, gaping at her colleague and good friend. She closed her mouth abruptly and shook her head to clear her mind.

“I’m fine, look, I’ve got to hurry. I need to pick up Jason from school and I'm already late.”

Clark seemed to be a little reassured now that Lois’ old self was breaking through again.

“Alright, I won’t keep you then.”

“Bye Clark. And thanks.” She held up the suitcase.

“No problem. Bye Lois.”

The door closed and Lois leaned her head against the wall, trying to sort out the jumbling mass of thoughts and emotions.

Against the cool wall, Lois’ face felt even hotter and she touched her cheeks – she knew they must be flaming red.

Why did he have to answer the door like that? Couldn’t he have covered himself? How much trouble is it to grab a coat or something? He should have realised walking around like that would…

As her internal voice continued to rant Lois sank to the ground with her back against the wall.

Oh, God. How shallow am I? Half a year ago I never so much as looked at him twice, and as soon as he takes his shirt off I’m fawning all over him. Did he notice? Of course he noticed! He’s not stupid. What will he think of me now? Will he start to act differently? Will things change?

Lois remembered the wonderful moments with Clark during the last couple of months in which they had grown so close. Just the two of them talking and joking on the couch. Clark playing with Jason on the rug. Clark simply holding her close when she missed Richard so much. Clark lifting Jason up so he could the giraffes better.

And then other things; just moments at work. Clark giving her his usual goofy greeting. Handing her a cup of coffee before she even realized she wanted it. The natural way he always helped other people out. The kind smile. Those ridiculous glasses…

Lois felt her stomach constrict and her eyes flew open as realization hit...

Am I…? No … he’s Clark Kent! He’s a friend, a colleague, I can’t … Think about Richard!

But as much as she kept shaking her head, the more clearer it got. Lone Wolf Lane was falling for Clark ‘Farm Boy’ Kent form Nowheresville… And not because of his abs or his muscly back, but because his knocking things over and his stupid grin. Because he was him…

The small smile that had been starting to form disappeared when the daydreams made way for reality.

What will happen when he notices? I’d would be so like him to take his distance, to give me some space. I don’t want him to take his distance. Jason needs him close and… Lois forced herself to admit it. And so do I…

Lois rested her head on her knees.

Should I tell him? How will he react? Will all this ruin everything we’ve built up over the last seven months? The ease, the comfort … the friendship.

Lois tried to envision a life without Clark’s friendship. Without his soothing presence, and his kind words. She tried to picture what she would be if it hadn’t been for Clark cheering her up when she felt down. She tried to picture it and she realised she couldn’t.

It was strange to see how dependent a woman she was, despite her image. It was strange how much she leaned on the men in her life. She counted to people helping her out when she messed up. She counted on Superman when she threw herself in the middle of a dangerous situation. She hadn’t noticed how big a part Richard had been in her life, until he left a gaping hole. A gaping hole that Clark had filled, and Lois didn’t think she could bear it if she lost Clark too.

Lois squared her back when she made her decision. She would not act on it. She would not jeopardise their friendship for anything. She would pretend nothing had changed. She was professional enough to separate her work form her private life.

A soft click shook Lois out of her thoughts. She had jumped to her feet the moment Clark appeared. Though properly dressed this time, the very thought of what that brown suit was hiding was enough to set Lois’ head aflame again.

Act casual!

“Lois? Why are you still here? I thought you said you had to hurry?”

“What, I – ”

Jason…

Lois checked her watch and groaned.

“Damn! Eh, yeah. I do have to hurry. Bye!”

Without a backwards glance Lois ran down the stairs again, towards her patiently awaiting son.